AUTHOR’S GAB, READER TALK.
A LETTER TO YOU, THE READER, SO THAT YOU CAN FINALLY FIGURE OUT WHAT I’M THINKING.
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THIS MONTH: Stay Sticklers
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“I have two cartoons I treasure. The first shows a row of ten Roman soldiers, one of them prone on the ground, with the cheerful caption (from a survivor of the cull), “Hey, this decimation isn’t as bad as they say it is!” The second shows a bunch of vague, stupid-looking people standing outside a building, and behind them a big sign that says “Illiterate’s Entrance”. And, do you want to know the awful truth? In the original drawing, it said, “Illiterate’s Entrance”, so I changed it. Painted correction fluid over the wrong apostrophe; inserted the right one. Yes, some of us were born to be punctuation vigilantes.” -Lynne Truss, qtd. from her book “Eats, Shoots & Leaves”
Dear Reader,
As much as we blow it off, grammar is a really important part of the English language and, consequentially, a huge part of our daily communication as English-speakers. Schoolchildren groan when their teacher announces today’s grammar lesson, whispering to their friends how they could care less. But, really, this causes a huge problem, because it suddenly gives every person and their mother an excuse to be just nonchalant with their grammar usage. So, let me be clear: NOT CARING ABOUT ENGLISH GRAMMAR ISN’T AN EXCUSE NOT TO USE IT CORRECTLY.
For all her dramatics on punctuation, I love how Lynne Truss explains why in her book on proper punctuation usage, “Eats, Shoots & Leaves”:
“A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
“Why?” asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife annual and tosses it over his shoulder.
“I’m a panda,” he says, at the door. “Look it up.”
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
‘P a n d a. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.’” (This joke, which is central to the book, is on the back cover.)
Think about it: simply inserting the correct punctuation (no comma between “eats” and “shoots”) would have completely changed the sentence. That panda would have been eating shoots and leaves in China instead of eating, shooting a gun and leaving. It really begs the question, “What OTHER errors are caused by careless or apathetic punctuation/grammar???”
For example, if there was ever one reason I would give up reading, it would be because countless authors (actually, countless people in general) simply use poor grammar. Simply due to their free-wheeling use of grammar, these are the worst and the hardest books to read. What is even more annoying is the thought that this published version has been through, or should have been through, several editors before reaching the consumer, like me. Where do these editors go to school, anyways? How can you miss something so simple as a comma or an apostrophe, if you are seriously editing a copy of someone’s book for eventual publication???
Honestly, if I have to read one more book with sloppy punctuation, I may just use it for kindling for my next bonfire. I do not want to spend one more minute reading a book with a pencil behind my ear, correcting all the punctuation errors an editor of sound mind should not have missed. What is really tragic is: the book I spent the most time marking up was “The Future of Freedom” by a renown international political journalist I otherwise greatly admire and respect, Fareed Zakaria. Especially as a journalist, I’m surprised; he really should have known better (or, maybe just his editor). I really want to know who punctuated a sentence like this one from Zakaria’s book, and what it says, because I can’t read it:
“British politics was revolutionized as entrepreneurial activity became the principal means of social advancement.” (47)
But, it’s not just books. Sloppy grammar is in memes, texts, Facebook and Twitter posts and e-mails. It’s written in movie titles like “Two Weeks Notice” (which should read “Two Weeks’ Notice”) and on grocery store signs.
I find it hard to believe we really don’t care that much about getting the message we intend to send across. Aren’t we, as Truss might say, better “sticklers” than that? I sincerely hope so, because (I don’t know about you) I would really like what I intend to say to be what is actually relayed to my listener.
Even if you’re not a writer or a English major (or a Journalism major, like me), you are still an English speaker. Therefore, it is in your best interest to make the time to use proper punctuation (and spelling, too). There is no other way, in this language, to communicate what you want to. I’m not really sure if there’s any other way I can say it or stress it enough. If you don’t want to do this, go speak an Asian language (like Korean, Chinese or Japanese), many of which don’t use grammar or spelling— you just better get the pronunciation and the character right (or, you’re in big trouble).
For example, in Chinese, “ai”, depending on the pronunciation, means two different characters/things:
- 我是爱。 (I am love.)
- 我是矮。(I am short.)
So, for this month’s ad lib, I greatly want to encourage everyone to “stay sticklers”, because it’s in your best interest. Not caring about the crucial tenants of your language, in whatever language you speak, just automatically throws any hope you have of using that language effectively out the window. The sad part is how prominent this problem is. I guess it shows how many people just don’t bother thinking about the messages they are sending to other people, much less if they are the correct ones or not.
There is power behind the words you speak AND how you speak them. Think about that.~
Sincerely, Your Author,
Jessica McLean
The Rose 