The Rose

AUTHOR’S GAB, READER TALK.

A LETTER TO YOU, THE READER, SO THAT YOU CAN FINALLY FIGURE OUT WHAT I’M THINKING.

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THIS MONTH: Ready for readings?

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“Poems that take five seconds to write and six seconds to read are not meant for the stage, but I will read them anyway.”

— Isabella J. Mansfield, excerpt from her poem, “Set List”

Dear Reader,

If there’s one thing I just haven’t done a lot of, it’s readings. A lot of readings focus on free verse poems, and I guess I just didn’t want to get judged for sticking to various forms. It wasn’t my style. The work just wasn’t ready. The stage wasn’t suited for me. Or, so I thought.

But, that didn’t quell the longing I had in my heart to do a reading. I wanted to put my work out there and have it heard and accepted. One thing I have always said is that work is meant to be read. It’s meant to be heard. And, I can’t be so afraid of judgement that it stifles me. My style is my style and what matters is how I express myself without worrying about other people’s styles. The work just needed to be put out there. I just needed to be brave.

In January, something felt ready. A reading rolled around I had been wanting to go to. And, this, time, I actually went. Shivering from the cold winter weather, I took off my coat and sat down. People were up at the mic reading their work. I was half listening. The other half of me was a bundle of nerves. I eyed the clipboard situated on the coffee bar, names stacked up like we were playing Jenga.

I’m not going to sign up, I thought. I’ll just listen this time.

A woman with short-cropped blonde hair, red lipstick and her chin held high wheeled over to me and tapped me on the shoulder.

“Would you like to sign up?”, she whispered politely, as people were reading.

“Yes I would,” I found myself saying. Isn’t this what I was here for?

Realizing it was too late to chicken out, I put my name on the bottom of the list. My mind buzzed. What would I read first? “The Chess Game”? “Nativity”? One of my sonnets? A semi-perfect sonnet might be too difficult to explain. Wait, I got it. “Street Art Fair”, my first villanelle, would be a good lead.

And so, I got up there, adjusted the mic, looked up “Street Art Fair” on The Rose and introduced myself.

“Hi, I’m Jessica McLean, and I’m going to read my poem, “Street Art Fair”. I have always been fascinated with the different types of form. This is the first villanelle I wrote, about the Ann Arbor Art fair.”

And, with that, I read the poem. When I had finished, the woman with the bold lipstick and the honey-blonde bob got up to the mic and said, “Wow, I think that was the first villanelle we’ve ever had read here. Nice work!”

And, inside, I felt really good. Someone liked my work! I couldn’t believe it was the first villanelle they had heard there. Did people just not write villanelles anymore? If so, I want to write more. I want to shower these people with all kinds of forms, so they can sample each delicacy.

That gave me confidence to actually attempt to explain semi-perfect sonnets to them. I read “Vacancy” and “Occupancy” together, both about the development of the site of the old elementary school in Milford. Thankfully, I was in Milford when I read this, and everyone was familiar with the topic, even if they didn’t get the form.

And so, we did round after round, and I excitedly read each new piece I had created. I even started reading some of my love poetry, about my relationships, before my phone died in the end. I had just finished reading “Loving Luke”, and was about to read “Getting Dumped”, when my phone cut out.

“…anndd my phone died. Sorry guys. To be continued,” I said.

“Awww,” I heard my audience say.

And, I felt the same way. You can’t read everything in one night, however, and some things can be saved for later. But, you know what? I felt joy when I left there. This was something I truly enjoyed. I wasn’t going to put it off for later this time. I was going to do something about it. And, that night, I had done something about it, and my work felt mature enough to share. That just felt so good.

I later found out that the woman who gave me the clipboard and complimented my work was Isabella J. Mansfield, the host of the event and a poet with a lot of local clout. In fact, she does readings all over the country and just published a book of poems, entitled “The Hollows of Bone” and was taking off for a conference in Boston soon. Since then, I have followed her and begun listening to her work. I just discovered her YouTube channel, wherein she publishes her poems and readings.

In “Set List”, she talks about writing and doing readings. She says in the poem that doesn’t want to write about her disability. She says she doesn’t want to read micro-poems or poems about motherhood, love and her anxiety. But, I love how she says in the poem that she will read and write them anyway. She says she wouldn’t expect anyone to show up to hear all these poems, but she knows that one person would.

I feel like readings are like that. You don’t want to write about all these things that are sensitive to you or read about your experiences. You don’t expect anyone to show up to hear them. But then, you get up there, have bravery and that one person does show up and it makes it all worth it somehow.

So friends, let’s get out there and do readings. Let’s have some bravery and get up there on the stage. Let’s let our work be heard. Even if we don’t expect anyone to show up for all our ramblings, maybe that one person will and it will be all worth it. Indeed, it will be worth getting over ourselves for, making room in our schedules and letting loose our souls. And, we will find, like I did, we are more ready to do readings than ever before.

Think about that.~

Sincerely, Your Writer,

Jessica A. McLean

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Recent Happenings:

• Recent Ad-Lib Activity:
  • February 2020 Ad-Lib is here!
  • Here lies my foolish thinking. A writer is dedicated, not lazy. Making a resolution to pick up monthly Ad Libs again!
    • Recently, I have not been keeping up with Ad-Libbing. I graduated four years ago from Oakland University with a degree in Journalism and I got a job at a local paper, The Oakland Press. I’m doing more writing, editing, designing and publishing than I could ever dream of. But, this cascade of graduating, finding a job and working hard at a job has captivated much of my time and mental faculties, leaving little time for personal reflection. I decided there just wasn’t time for Ad-Libbing, but I would keep publishing poetry, which is what I have done. I may not be able to publish Ad-Libs monthly as before, but I hope that when I get the chance suffices.
      • TBA: I’m working on finishing my series on form. It’s a gigantic project, so I will probably split it in two. Stay tuned.
• Recently Published:
  • Poems Added:
    • “Nativity”, a Christmas sonnet
    • “Getting Dumped”, a semi-perfect sonnet
• In January, I had a cool opportunity to attend a Poetry Pour-Over at Proving Grounds Coffee and Tea in Milford, Michigan. I had a opportunity to stand up and share my work on an open mic. It honestly felt SO good. After years of dedicated work on this website to seeing this project complete, something felt READY to share. I also may have the opportunity to write for an upcoming art competition this year, so stay tuned!
• Editing, editing, and more editing.
• Waiting 🙂