The Rose

A LETTER TO YOU, THE READER, SO THAT YOU CAN FINALLY FIGURE OUT WHAT I’M THINKING.

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THIS MONTH: Promises

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Dear Reader,

Hello again! Happy 2011! 🙂

Well, it’s a New Year, and it’s time to think some new thoughts and, in most cases, to keep those pesky New Year’s resolutions! Yet, I find that most people break their New Year’s resolutions within the month of January or just don’t do them at all. Why is that, anyway? And, furthermore, what’s the point of promising yourself that you will do something that you either object to doing or aren’t going to do at all?

But, the whole issue of making promises and keeping them may happen a lot more than we are conscious of. For example, if you say you are going to get up at 8 a.m. and set your alarm to do so, shouldn’t you then be getting up at 8 a.m.? But, if you are like me, you hit the snooze button, roll over, and then drag out the issue until 8:30 a.m. Then, when you do get up, you moan, “Ughh…”. Or, consider the whole issue of swearing or cursing, which has to do with promising evil and disrespecting authority. Both of these things are declarations or assurances that one will do a particular thing or that guarantees a particular thing will happen, the exact definition of a promise from the Oxford American Dictionary. The point being, promises are a daily issue. With every word out of your mouth, you are promising that something is true.

Aha! And, therein lies the rub. In order for people to believe us, to trust us, to rely on or count on us, we need to keep our promises, which is the whole point of telling the truth. For me, honesty is my policy. I absolutely hate lying. I’m also really big on keeping my word. If I say I’m going to do something, I do it… sort of…. at least I try to, anyway. But promise-keeping and truth-telling are connected, not two separate things. This is my new discovery: just as words should be backed up by actions, actions should be backed up by words. If something is so, say it is, but also DO it like it is. Thus, you might be able to say that how you act on your promises is a true test of how purely honest you actually are.

So, if we are so adamant about being honest, why do we refuse to keep our promises? I think it has to do with the relationship we have with ourselves, and what we want, verses what we have to do. For instance, I have been late for everything and everyone my entire life; it really doesn’t matter what the situation may be. And, each time I’m late I make excuses for my behavior, which often has to do with a sequence of events leading up to my tardiness. While I’m in the act, the sensation feels good… almost numbing… in fact. But, always, afterwards, I hate myself for what I have done, because I know it was purely selfish and incredibly evil. But, all those excuses are are reasons why I broke my promise, to myself and to others. And so, honesty flows from my lips, and fails to flow from my soul.

As I thought about all of this, I remembered a decent bit of poetry, nevertheless famous, which really captures the essence of promise- keeping:

“The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.”

-excerpt from Robert Frost’s “Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening” (1923)

In the last lines of Frost’s poem, he pauses to reflect and make a decision. Should he venture into those oh-so-lovely, dark, and deep woods that are calling his name? You feel that he really wants to. But, alas, if he does, he will break the promises he kept before that moment. And, he describes how long the road ahead of him is or might be after he mentions his promises by repeating “And miles to go before I sleep” twice. Therefore, while he seems weary, he cannot rest. And who desired to make those promises, to set out on those miles before him, but himself?

Symbolically, we too are like Frost. While there are many other things that come up in the moment that we want to do, we probably have already made promises for ourselves. What matters in the long run is being committed to those promises we make for ourselves on a daily basis. After all, it’s one thing to plan, to promise, to do something, which, at the time, is so rich in possibility, and quite another to actually want to go through with it. No one has told us that we MUST do this or that, but we have wanted to do these things for ourselves. So, while the path seems weary, while the miles are long, travelers, take heart! God has set you on this course for a purpose. All you have to do is to keep walking… by keeping your promises.

It really puts a huge emphasis on saying what we mean and doing what we say. My resolution for this year was to take snowboarding lessons. Also, I want to be self-disciplined enough to be on time. I intend on keeping these promises too, because, as I said, I want to be honest. It’s my hope that you keep your resolutions/promises for yourself this year too.

Your Writer,

Jessica A. McLean